Good judgment comes from experience,
and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag
is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd,
take a look back every now and
then to make sure it's still there.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence,
try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

There's two theories to arguin' with a woman.
Neither one works.

If you find yourself in a hole,
the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Everyone is ignorant only on different subjects.

When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person,
don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it
thrown around by somebody else.

Even if you're on the right track,
you'll get run over if you just sit there.

The quickest way to double your money
is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

The only way to solve the traffic problems of the country
is to pass a law that only paid-for cars
are allowed to use the highways.
That would make traffic so scarce
we could use the boulevards for children's playgrounds.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring.
He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral:
When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

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